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Post by aislin on Dec 22, 2010 17:22:57 GMT -5
  Aislin couldn't sit still. She was shaking, worse then she ever had before. She had been in situations like this with her family before, but it had never been this bad, it was always expected.. but this.. this was ten thousand times worse. He had really lied to her. Which.. of course she shouldn't have expected anything more, it wasn't like she controlled or owned him, she wasn't anything significant to him, at least.. she didn't have a label to him... yet. She had known it was coming for a while now though, how could it not when you got along so well like they so obviously did. He was her video game buddy, she cooked for him, took care of him when he needed it, they were seriously good friends. But somewhere in there he had taken little pieces of her heart, she had been falling for him without realizing it this whole time. And now look where it had landed her. In an ambulance, clinging on to hunter's hand for dear life. This was all too familiar for her. Her family had been the worst, it was why she had made a covenant with herself never to touch the dreadful stuff, the pure powder that gave you such an addiction and an apathy for life. No, she would never. Especially when it hurt the ones she loved, and now the ones that she was slowly growing to love. She didn't want to jump to conclusions, but.. that was how she saw hunter, regardless of what she knew about him or not. Her feelings were telling her otherwise.
How anyone could love her she would never know. She wasn't much of a person, always in the dorm studying or getting ready for an exam or two, always the wallflower, never making herself known at parties or social gatherings. she'd rather sit back and watch the action instead of taking place in the action itself. How she had ever met hunter in the first place was.. quite the accomplishment, and before long they had been going to each others houses and apartments like it was the cool thing to do. And at the time.. it was. Aislin couldn't believe she let this all happen, it was all so fast, so.. so wonderful. She wouldn't trade it for anything, but now.. now this was hard. And she couldn't understand why he would lie to her about something like this. Granted.. he didn't know her story. they never really had talked about it in the past.. or well, not really. Aislin had simply said she didn't like the stuff and pretty much promised her he wouldn't do it. But he had lied. And it was painfully obvious now, almost like a slap in the face, and she didn't know how to react to it all. All she knew now was that she was disappointed with him, but right now.. fear won out among the confusion of her feelings. She was fearful for his life, and most certainly his well-being. She couldn't lose him, not this early in the game. She liked him, and that fact was clear in the obvious slip up in her words as she had dialed those three dreadful numbers. She had called him her boyfriend, and it was probably the only reason she was able to ride in the back of the ambulance with him now. She didn't care if it was a lie, she just wanted him to be okay. To live.
Aislin's breathing was shallow, and her hands were shaking more then they ever had before. hushed whispers were thrown at him as the paramedics worked over him, pushing an IV into his arm and making sure he remained stable. Her heart seemed to be beating out of her chest and she could almost swear that she was about to pass out. She couldn't handle this, it was all so much to handle. Images were flashing in her head of the times they had spent together, that night where she had finally given in. Times where she had beat him or just simply knocked him over while playing video games. Even that couldn't bring a simple smile to her face in this moment. She was scared, and all she could do was whisper at him, h-hunter... hunter.. stay with me.. please...baby.. stay awake.. for me.. please.. please.. it was all she could seem to say, all she could utter out. She didn't want him to leave her, that was all she could ask of him. She didn't even know if he could hear her, but her prayer, if she had ever uttered one, was that he could. And that he would be able to tell her that all was fine.. soon.. hopefully. Aislin had no room for negativity, she wouldn't allow it. she couldn't think negatively in this situation, it would only let fear grow, and she couldn't be afraid of this. Her instincts needed to kick in.. and now. She had been through this situation before, and it shoudn't be a surprise. Maybe she had caught him on time, maybe he would be fine. But her heart wouldn't let her calm down, and it still seemed to beat out of her chest as she looked down at him.
She wanted to hug him, tight, and hold him the rest of the way there, but she knew she needed to let the paramedics take care of him, that way she wouldn't have to worry when they got to the ER, he would be taken care of, she had to believe that. But she couldn't help the still silent whispers... pleads really to stay with her, she couldn't lose him, she refused! hunter...h-hunter...? if you can hear me... squeeze my hand.. once. twice... anything.. just let me know you're here.. with me. please baby.. please. her mind wasn't on what she was saying, and to be quite honest she didn't care what she was saying. Her attention was on his response, if he could hear her at all, if he knew she was there with him, she just wanted to know. She couldn't lose another person to this dreadful drug, and if she did, it would quite literally be the end of Aislin, she wouldn't be able to take it. Her heart had suffered enough as it was.
TAG! jayyy and hunterrr
WORDS! 1060
MUSE! alotalotalot!
NOTES! poor aislinnn ;c
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Post by aislin on Dec 23, 2010 14:49:43 GMT -5
At this point Aislin was almost in tears although she didn't let them spill. She wasn't going to cry over this, she resolved. Although it was a valid reason to cry she wouldn't do it, she was stronger then that. She was just worried, he would be fine, he had to be fine. Maybe, just maybe if she was lucky she had gotten there on time. Although right now all she could do was gaze at him, running her thumb over his hand softly, whispering to him and hoping he heard every word. She didn't know how to feel at this point. Everything felt.. numb almost, like it wasn't really happening. Like she was the person writing the story and not living it, but it hit her, harder then anything that had ever hit her before, oh, it was happening all right, and it was more real than anything she had ever experienced. Too real, actually. She much preferred the little made up world inside of her head, if only there was such a thing. Maybe things had been a little too good to be true, having him like her so easily, you see... things didn't come easily for Aislin, she had to work for things, and this apparently was one of them. Love. what a crazy word to think of in a situation like this, but she knew that was where it was heading. She knew it with every ounce of her being, she was falling for Hunter Reid Chase and she wasn't regretting a moment of it.
So what if he had his problems, didn't everyone? She would help him through it, she would be there for him every step of the way if he would let her. She couldn't believe something like this was happening right now though, couldn't believe he had lied to her about something like that. Did it make her angry? no, did it make her upset? Maybe a little, but she was concerned about him rather then petty things such as that. He mattered the most to her, and right now her mind was in a million different places. She didn't know what to think what to do, with her family it had been different, although she had cared she knew about it, this was different. She knew he had had an addiction to it, but now that he had apparently lied about it or never told her in the first place, it made a difference. She hoped he could get over this addiction, or whatever the hell it was. She knew she would be by his side every step of the way.. that is.. if he wanted her there, but she had a pretty good idea that he did, but don't get her wrong, she wasn't sure. She knew she could be completely off, and she wasn't going to push it. For right now, she was intent on making sure he lived, and if that meant her squeezing his hand until he came to, she would do it. He meant that much to her.. already. She didn't even know how, it was a lot to take in really, she didn't care though, she wasn't saying she loved the boy.. not yet. she was closer to loving him then she ever had been before though, and she would admit that to almost anyone. But then again maybe not, she wasn't one to talk much about her feelings, she never had been. Mostly because there hadn't really been anyone to talk to when she was younger, everyone was so platonic and nonchalant about everything they did. Aislin hated her childhood. It was why she was such a nerd now. She'd rather stay cooped up in her room rather then socialize with others. Playing video games was what she was good at, studying to make good grades was her forte, not becoming popular and caring about what other people thought of her. She didn't really care in all honesty, she never really had.
One small squeeze. It was all it took, and Aislin's heart was racing once more. Her breath caught in her throat as she lurched forward to look down at him, feeling the squeeze of his hand made a world of difference, and now both of her hands covered his one hand. He opened his eyes but his head was turned the other way, biting her lip she whispered, not really sure what he was trying to do, but going to be there with him anyway. i'm over here baby.. i'm right here.. she whispered, finishing just in time to hear him barely call out her name. It broke her heart to see him lying here, to see him in this much pain. The girl's head shook as she spoke, no.. shh.. it's okay, i'm right here, i'm not going anywhere, just hang on for me okay? hang on.. you don't have to talk, i know baby.. i know.. it was all she could do to get her words out clearly, the lump in her throat wouldn't seem to go away, it was like it was stuck there, begging her not to talk, hindering her from telling him what she needed to. Her hand came to cup the bottom of his face softly, just a loving touch, a gesture really. To let him know she wasn't going anywhere, even if she had already told him thousands of times already.
It wasn't long before they finally arrived at the ER, the ambulance screeching to a halt and the stretcher being hauled away. Aislin had no choice but to watch as hunter was rushed in. Getting out of the ambulance and following slowly behind the chaos. Tears were now streaming down her face as she watched the boy she was falling for being rolled away from her, it was all too much. Her mind went back to a few years ago when her brother had finally took his last breath. It had been under familiar circumstances, just like this really. Except he was much worse then hunter.... or so she assumed. Although it wouldn't be fair to judge hunter when she had no idea how addicted he really was. Her brother had been quite awful though, she had to keep that in mind. Regardless her mind went back to that night. She had never been that upset before, and although she wasn't quite that upset now, she was close. Her brother had died that night, after he tried to snort more coke then necessary, it was selfish really, and she couldn't help the way her face grew red with anger at him. She loved her brother, just like she loved her family, she just hated what they had become, what they had done to her as a kid, never really giving her a reason to feel loved. And then he went off and killed himself? That was selfish in her eyes, and although she wouldn't think of hunter as selfish for doing this, it was beginning to cross her mind. He had so much to live for in her eyes.. especially her... now at least. Or she would hope so. Aislin sighed as she cautiously walked back to the waiting room, jerking her head up every time someone walked passed her, wishing and hoping it would be a doctor or nurse with some news. She had to know he was okay, she just had to.
TAG! jayyy and hunterrr
WORDS! 1240
MUSE! alot<3
NOTES! zomg. awh.
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Post by aislin on Dec 23, 2010 23:02:34 GMT -5
The waiting was the worst part. A single moment, a second even seemed to pass by at the rate that a year did. Slowly and painfully the time passed by though, each minute seeming like an hour. She go through it though, and even if her head jerked up in each direction of a passerby, she knew it would pay off soon enough. She just hoped that 'soon enough' came sooner then she was thinking. Already it had been at least thirty minutes since she had seen him, her heart still racing as if she was right there by his side watching him suffer. She hated it. Waiting was the worst. Never knowing if it was good or bad news she would be receiving. She didn't like it at all, and her mind was far too imaginative for her to be sane and wait for the doctors to show up. She was quite nearly ready to tear through the doors that kept her away from him. She was still shaking from the shock of it all, but she couldn't tell. Although she had a headache that seemed to pound into her thoughts, taking up every little bit of energy she seemed to have. She wanted to see him, she wanted to know that he was okay. But she knew she had to wait here until the doctors or nurses came back to get her. She sighed loudly as another nurse walked by the waiting room and didn't even bother to check in with anyone. This was starting to piss Aislin off.
Hardly ever did the girl get mad, but this.. this was starting to tear at her nerves, and when aislin gets mad.. she gets mad. Nothing else matter to her in that very moment where she loses all control. And it was starting to get to that border line. Taking a deep breath the girl tried calming herself. It was then that she realized the way her little hands were frigid, and shaking uncontrollably. Almost like she was a user of the drug herself, but of course that was untrue, it couldn't be farther from the truth actually. Standing up aislin made her way to the door, catching the next nurse that walked by, and not in a very chipper mood. excuse me... do you know any news on Hunter Chase?! she asked the nurse, in a clear rush to get the words out of her mouth, agitated and ready to know if he was okay.. living and breath like he ought to. why yes, of course, he was moved to a room just a moment ago, room 608C the nurse stated, calmly and obviously in control of the situation. She gave her a smile, but aislin was in too much of a rush to catch it. As soon as the room number left her lips Aislin was already running in that direction. Yes, she was running. It was killing her each and every waking moment that she wasn't by his side, knowing he was okay. It was good news really, it meant that he was doing okay, it meant that she had caught him in time.. she had saved his life.
Tears sprang to her eyes as she finally reached the room, not bothering to knock before she opened the door and spotted him laying on the hospital bed, immediately commenting as she entered. oh.. hunter! And in mere seconds she was by his side, her hand fitting into his large ones just perfectly. Her face now mere inches away from his own, going back to the soft whisper that she had been using with him since the ambulance. hunter.. baby.. you're okay... you're okay... she whispered to him, her eyes closing as a few tears slid down her cheek. Half convincing herself he was okay and half telling him. Although she was sure he didn't feel the greatest right about now. No, she wasn't about to complain to him about how he shouldn't have lied to her, how he should have let her help him, but all of that didn't matter right now. He didn't need to hear that, and she was quite sure he felt bad enough already as it was. Her hand lovingly went to his cheek, wanting to hold him, to touch him, to let her know it was all real.. and okay. She didn't want to see him end up like her brother, dead with hardly anyone missing him. Aislin did.. she missed John every day, she didn't really know why either, because it wasn't like he every paid attention to her, or said a simple I love you, it was only because he had been her brother, she had loved him regardless, but with hunter.. it was different. John may have been her brother, but hunter.. hunter was....well. she hadn't really found a word to describe him yet, not without sounding possessive or like she was going way too fast. Right now though her mind was resting on him, and how she wanted to be closer to him, to let him know she'd be with him throughout it all, and she would. Whatever she had to do for him she would. She just hoped he would stop with the drugs.. the girl had never been so scared in her entire life. Even when it had been her own family, of course she had cared, and of course she had been worried, but it was a common occurance when it came to her family, with hunter.. it had been so unexpected. She wouldn't be able to go through another scare like that again.. and she wouldn't. This would be the last time, and if it wasn't.. she was done. She could only handle but so much at a time, and this was a lot to handle. But she cared for him.. a lot. And she knew that she couldn't help the way she was falling so fast, she didn't want to resist it anymore.. I'm right here for you baby.. right here.. I'm not going anywhere... i swear...!
TAG! jayyy and hunterrr
WORDS! 1015
MUSE! alot
NOTES! d'awh D:
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Post by aislin on Dec 25, 2010 19:36:13 GMT -5
Something so simple as seeing him was enough to make her feel a little better at least. Her eyes wouldn't leave him, they couldn't. Not if she even tried. She was too focused on him breathing, any movement really to let her know he was okay. These feelings were confusing her. She didn't even know where to start thinking about them all, or if she even could. There was so much to think about, well.. at least there was for her. She didn't want him to have to continue to struggle with drugs, and if he was going to continue.. she didn't want to be with that.. to have to experience this again. Not knowing whether he was going to live or die. No, she wouldn't do that. And she had to let him know, if they were going to be anything more then this, and she knew they were.. it was only a matter of time if he continued to do and say and think the same way he had been before this whole mess. Aislin knew her feelings now, they had become clear to her when she had seen him lying on his bathroom floor, the coke still scattered in a line on the counter, ready to be inhaled. No, she couldn't deny them now. His near death experience had been the line for her, it had been drawn now, and there was no going back. She was falling for him, and almost fallen completely now. She wouldn't go through with this again, she couldn't. He couldn't put her through this pain again. She wouldn't let him.
Her eyes roamed his face as he looked up at her, silence filled the air between them but it was okay. His eyes met hers and she could almost read his expression, his sorrow.. his pain, his hurt. she chose to focus on the way he looked at her instead, the clear adoration written all over his face. One gentle squeeze was all it took for her heart to melt all over again, and then came her name from his lips, choked out, but it was enough for her to know that all would be well soon enough. His teeth bit down on his lower lip and she knew it was hard for him not to speak, she was sure he had too much on his mind to even try and begin now. She understood. it's okay.. shh.. i understand, just rest.. shhh. she coaxed him, but she knew he had too much to say to be quieted. aislin nodded her head as he called her a pet name, something she had grown so accustomed to now, it was almost normal for her to hear it from his lips, and this was no exception, yes.. it's me.. aislin, i'm here baby she said, clarifying even more for him. Her heart went out to him, she wished she could do more for him, help him out more, but she knew all she could do was watch over him like she was doing now. She probably wouldn't go home tonight, she didn't want to. She didn't want to be at home safe and sound with hunter on her mind. She wouldn't be able to sleep if she did that. She wouldn't be able to do absolutely anything but sit there and worry about him. She would stay the night in the hospital with him, and that was that. There was no 'thinking' about it. That was where she was going to be and there was no questioning to it.
The girl stood over his bed, a pained expression fogging over her face. She hated this, she hated looking down on him in such a state as this. It was terrible. He shouldn't be here, he should be at home.. playing video games with her on the couch. In fact, he didn't even have to be there! He should be with syd.. in band practice. Anything other then this. The girl shook her head from side to side slowly as she couldn't help but throw her arms around him in a fierce hug, leaning herself over him, on top of him. Aislin laid there a moment. Her arms still encircling him as she did so. She heard his heart beating, irregularly from being in shock. Clearing her throat she spoke again, a whisper, something so quiet only he could hear. please... make me a promise hunter... for me? she said, not bothering to look up at him until she said what she had to say. She would wait for him to respond before telling him the promise, that way, he couldn't back out. If he couldn't do this for her.. then he wouldn't do it at all.. And that would be the end to whatever they had going, which in Aislin's opinion was sure to become a lot. Her heart was slowly being given to him, and if this was what it felt like to 'almost' lose him... she wouldn't be able to take it again. She just couldn't.
TAG! jayyy and hunterrr
WORDS! 844
MUSE! alot<3
NOTES! they are so cuuute..
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