ENDERS, tyler rae

[shauna]

TWENTY. LOCAL. LESBIAN. STONER. KATEMOENNIG.
( TYLER RAE ENDERS )

I SEE YOUR EYES, YOU'RE BARELY SOBER.
I HEAR YOUR VOICE, YOU'RE CALLING OUT FROM ME TO YOU.
the character

nine months before giving birth to her first and only child, laura ann davidson had gotten pregnant at the age of fourteen. her boyfriend at the time, a twenty two year old cocaine addict, split as soon as he got the news. to take away her pain, laura did pills while carrying her baby girl for those nine months. when the day finally came for her daughter to be born, she had almost died in childbirth; luckily she didn't of course. because of the usage of the pills, the baby girl was a drug baby and was immediately taken from laura and given to her widowed mother; sophia. sophia had named the girl tyler, simply because that was her late husband's name; tyler rae enders.
when tyler was about three or four, laura wanted to be in her daughter's life. sophia made a compromise, she could stop over the house; but nothing else. laura accepted, but of course she fucked that up like everything else in her life. she never came over sober, laura wouldn't even call her tyler; she called her a bunch of different names until she found herself guessing. this went on for a few years, then sophia just cut the visiting. but then again that all changed when tyler turned fourteen. she wanted to see her mother, so took matter into her own hands by walking to her shithole of an apartment. needles and baggies everywhere, she couldn't believe it. this was the woman that gave her life? fuck that. laura, the worlds greatest mother, let tyler try some thing with her; smoking weed. let's just say that after the first visit, she was always over her moms. by tyler's sixteenth birthday, she smoked pot; popped xanx bars; and drank seven times her own weight in alcohol. tyler dropped out of school, barely even going to her grandmother's anymore; it was all about her mom and the drugs they did. shit got real a month before tyler's eighteenth birthday. by then, her and laura were hooked on cocaine, she walked to her house to find her mom dead on the floor; needle in her arm. and that was the day she had sophia check her into rehab.
after the death of her mother, tyler hasn't really been the same. she found her love for music once she got out of rehab, and decided to move to california from colorado; but then again she's scared for her life. sure she hits a blunt and has a few beers, but nothing like she had experienced in the apartment with her mother; and she missed it. for now, she's in control. but how long can she hold on? she doesn't even know anymore.

SO SAY THAT YOU JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY.
AND REPLAY ALL THE THINGS THAT I TRIED TO SAY.
behind the character

hey bitches, it's shauna and i've been pimpin' these hoes for about eleven and a half years. i know right, it's great isn't it? need to get a hold of me? hit me up by PM, MSN, AIM. i'm also in the i think eastern time zone just so you know. don't need to be telling you people twice. also meet the rest of my lovely babies, no where to be found (n/a)!

drugs. the word made tyler laugh. schools always made it seem like drugs were bad words, as if they were to be shoved under the same category as fuck and other swears. tyler always wished she could go to a high school to talk about drugs, tell the teachers and what not that she'd be telling them a bullshit story on how to stay clean on tour. but once she got there she would just rant about drugs made her who she is and she couldn't imagine her life without them, ending with a big finish of snorting cocaine off of the stage floor. she wouldn't be lying though, drugs, along with feminism and derby, honestly did make her who she was and who she'll always be. that is until that horrid day comes and she's found face down on the concrete with a needle in her arm, heroin fresh in her veins. but tyler felt she had nothing to worry about since she didn't do heroin. but she would rather not talk about that, especially since she had nightmares of overdosing happening. now any other human being would stop and check up into rehab after the first dream right? wrong. well, in tyler's case.

if you couldn't tell already, tyler wasn't the best person in the world but you could say she tries. after going to a house party she heard about, she got so damn high and slammed back shots like it wasn't a big deal. but then she started coming down, and she bit her lip. she went around in a drunken stumble, asking people if they knew anyone who'd sell her powder. after a few minutes of searching she found the guy. once she got a hold of the tiny little bag, tyler couldn't help but grin. cocaine. after paying the guy and shuffling outside, she leaned against the house and slid down until she was sitting with her knees to her chest. she quickly placed a bit of the powder in the tiny fold of skin between her thumb and her index finger, quickly snorting hard. the minute the powder went up, her head went back. at first, when she first started doing drugs, the burn killed tyler and she would cry and curse; now, she just laughed an inpatient laugh. just waiting for her high to kick in. and that was the last thing she rememberd

her eyes fluttered as she woke up as she felt her body shivering. she rolled onto her side, then quickly sitting up. her palm smacked against her aching head as she looked around. she was in an alley, which meant she wandered off from the party after snorting her cocaine. she went in her shirt, pulling out her phone. three fourty five in the morning, she was only at the party from around eleven to one. so god knows what happened to her, she went to wipe her cold nose and felt dried up blood. the poor girl couldn't help but cry, she stood up only to limp to the side. great, she broke a heel. as she limped out of the alley, she looked around and she didn't know where the hell she was at. the girl went back into her shirt, pulling the baggie that got her in this mess and she smiled. there was still some left, so she proceeded with snorting it. tyler was the type of girl who obviously didn't care about where she ended up. she had her moments of waking up in a puddle of her own vomit, dried blood on her nostrils, and her fingers still clutching the bottle she finished hours ago. she'd woken up with the side of her face pressed against a cold toilet seat with vomit in the toilet, on her lips, on the seat, and on her shirt. but in her eyes, they seemed to be the moment she lived for. except for now, she never woke up in an alley in a place she was unaware of. that was one to write down.

she went through her phone, calling a few of her close friends. no answer. then she came across a name and she bit her lip and shrugged. the girl sat on the cold sidewalk, waiting for tj to answer his phone. she honestly hoped he would, otherwise she'd have to wait for a bus and god knows how long that would take.