WILDE, jossilyn eulalia

[JOSSILYN EULALIA WILDE]

EIGHTEEN. TOURIST. HETEROSEXUAL. HEADSTRONG. CORY KENNEDY.
( JOSSILYN EULALIA WILDE )

I SEE YOUR EYES, YOU'RE BARELY SOBER.
I HEAR YOUR VOICE, YOU'RE CALLING OUT FROM ME TO YOU.
the character

ABOUT JOSIE my name is jossilyn eulalia wilde, but that's kind of a mouthful, so i wish you'd just call me josie. i turned eighteen in late may, which i guess was really lucky because i left massachusetts the very next day and i definitely wouldn't have been allowed half the places i've been if i hadn't been eighteen, which is kinda of silly when you think about it because it's not like that day changed much at all. i didn't get any smarter. anyway, i'm babbling, which i probably should do less than i do. everyone tells me i look like cory kennedy, and i guess i sort of agree.

HISTORY i was born in late may, blah blah blah eighteen years ago. i have an older brother named christian who's exactly eleven months older than me to the day. my parents' names are madeline and ryan and they're pretty nice for the most part, i guess. but sometimes when my dad drinks a little too much, all the truth comes out and i like him a little less until he sobers up. according to him, my brother's a disappointment, i'm too unpredictable, etc. we just don't live up to his expectations. i had a really boring childhood up until i was fourteen. i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. i tried for a little while to keep up with the medications, but they made me fat and i started to get curious as to what i was like off of them. i remembered being different before them. so, i started throwing them away instead of taking them, but i was careful to make sure no one found out except for christian, but he told me that he understood, saying, and i quote, "it's okay to want to be who you are, jos." so, with his blessing, every little pill went down the toilet, in the trash, out the window on the way to school. anywhere but into me. i like myself better off the medication. sure, it sucks when i'm all depressed and shit, but at the same time, the manic periods are amazing. i love how all my inhibitions literally go away. i've been running on a manic high since i left, so that's probably gonna go downhill pretty soon, but it's great while it's lasted. maybe i'm cured and manic all the time now. i'd like that a lot.

anyway, so when i was seventeen, in that little grace period when christian and i were both seventeen, we were in the backyard in a tent. i loved doing that and i still do. it's like we're camping, but at the same time, we're still within walking distance of a bathroom, so i don't need to pee in the woods. that's a definite plus. so, anyway, it was june last year and christian decided to remind me that he was keeping my secret about my medicine and at first, i didn't understand, but then he told me about how he'd made out with our mom's best friend's son, joey. that's when it made sense. he was keeping my secret, so i had to keep his. so as time went on, i learned that he and joey were secretly dating and all that and that they were in love--at least, christian was in love with him. in about april of this year, that all started to fall apart and christian started eating a lot, which is what he does when he's stressed over something. i saw a lot less of christian and joey and just started seeing a lot of christian. that was fine, though. he was acting really depressed and i one point i suggested him trying some of my medicine which i still wasn't taking, but he said that he wasn't that kind of depressed and that it probably wouldn't help. so i just got him a slurpee from seven eleven instead.

right after my birthday, christian came into my room and he told me that he had this great idea and i had to be really quiet and not wake anyone up, but if i wanted to go along with it, i should pack all the stuff i would ever possibly need. so i did and it fit easily into an old hockey bag, two backpacks and a purse. well, and my laptop case, but that doesn't count. we stuck all of our stuff in christian's old blue volvo and, even though it was three in the morning, we left behind my parents. my dad was always sick those days anyway and my mom was a nurse who was never really around, so i doubt either of them really noticed for a few days. actually, i know neither of them noticed because we made it all the way to georgia by the time my mom called christian. he picked up and told her that we were fine, but that'd he'd be having his service disconnected. and mine too. i wasn't too comfortable with that idea, the idea of not being able to get ahold of my parents, but he assured me that we could get a new service and keep their numbers in our phones so we could reach them if we needed to, which we haven't yet. needed them, i mean. i'm not so sure if this is where we're staying for good, but i like california and i really like kingsford and christian does, too. anyway, back to my story, though. so we were in georgia and in this random diner and christian told me that we were running away from joey. i didn't know what joey did to christian, but it must have been awful because christian's never run away before. that was always my thing, the taking off to my friends' houses without a moments notice. but we were seriously running away and he thought he knew where, too. there was this place he'd heard of that was just this enormous house party that raged all day and all night and he wanted to stay there and maybe work as a bartender there or get paid to help run the thing. once we got there, though, christian lost all sense of responsibility and we both just went wild. after a week, we decided that that wasn't the place for us and so we up and left for texas. we figured that with all that space and all the sky, texas had to have room for us. and it did. kind of. but one night, while we were there, we decided to go to a rocky horror picture show showing, and he met this guy named steven. about a week later, christian decided that he didn't want to get his heart broken again or something because pretty soon we were on our way to california. i think that by this point, christian was starting to feel a bit too much in over his head because the plan was to get to my uncle hugh's house. we never made it there, though, because we passed through here. and here was a lot better than there.

SO SAY THAT YOU JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY.
AND REPLAY ALL THE THINGS THAT I TRIED TO SAY.
behind the character

hey bitches, it's CAZI and i've been pimpin' these hoes for about EIGHT YEARS. i know right, it's great isn't it? need to get a hold of me? hit me up by PM. AIM. MSN. EMAIL. i'm also in the EASTERN time zone just so you know. don't need to be telling you people twice. also meet the rest of my lovely babies, KIERAN DILLON YAJIMA && EMILEE BRYNN WHITTAKER!

check out emilee/kieran!