* / head first { levi }

[nolan]

Summertime in California was always hot, there was no denying that as the sun beat down on Nolan Calloway’s lightly tanned skin. He had been basking away practically all morning during a photo shoot with his mother. She had him up at six o’clock that morning and it was well in to the afternoon now as they were finally wrapping up. Why she insisted on using him as one of her subjects, he would never know. Of course, he loved his mother so he would do pretty much anything she asked him to – within reason of course. Though, he supposed it didn’t hurt to get his name out there when he wanted to be a professional dancer. And it was always nice to have fresh headshots on hand when you needed them. Leaning over he pressed his lips to his mother’s cheek and grabbed his bag, I’m headed to the pool, I’ll be home later, love you. He waved to her before heading off towards the public pool. Generally, Nolan didn’t care much for going to the public pool, but he was in dire need of cooling off and quickly. Getting in the car and heading to the beach would have taken longer than walking the two blocks to the public pool, where he could easily strip down to his boardshorts and jump in to the awaiting cool water.

Glancing down at his phone, he pressed his lips together before sliding it back in to his backpack. Arriving at the pool, he slipped his bag off of his shoulder and tossed it over away from the pool so it wouldn’t get wet. Kicking off his flip flops, he pulled his shirt over his head and glanced around to see if there were any familiar faces around. Not seeing anyone that stood out to him, he walked over to the edge of the pool and dove in. He didn’t waste any time at all. Grinning as he emerged from the cool water, he already felt a hundred times better. Propping himself up on the side of the pool, he leaned back and casually let his body float there, his arms resting on the edge, holding himself above water. This was definitely a nice way to relax after a long day in front of the camera. Licking his full lips, he kept his eyes closed and just listened to the kids running around the pool and the water lapping at the concrete, it was actually a pretty calming sound to the blonde and it was exactly what he needed right now. Bringing his core temperature down to a normal level and just getting a little rest and relaxation. What more could you ask for?

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[LEVI JOSHUA GARNER]

Alarm clocks were one of the first things that Levi came to associate as his enemy during the summer months. He preferred sleeping in late, curled up in bed his limbs tangled up with his mute best friend. A small pout sat on the male’s face as he was continually harassed by the constant flow of beeps, urging the male to wake up. His arm jutted out and groped around on the bedside table, finally hitting the sleep button and relieved his ears of any annoyance. Well, most of the noises had disappeared. He tilted his head to the side, eyeing his best friend just a while longer. The teenager giggled sleepily, listening to the younger male’s snores. He actually found it cute and the small, raven haired teen often felt content just snuggling his friend listening to his soft breathing and resting his head on his chest. Of course the boy couldn’t get away with that today, Ryland had once again slept through the alarm and he was forced to wake the boy up and usher him out of the room.

Half an hour both teenagers had been kicked out of the house which was okay with Levi seeing as he had managed to sneak a shower with Ryland before taking off for the day. In his head, the eighteen year old knew that today was just going to be a horrible day. Miss Julia had gone off to do work or something at the school and Ry had to go work at the theatre today. This effectively left Levi by himself which was something that his therapist had said he wasn’t allowed to do and probably lead to the teen getting kicked out of the house for the day. That way he wouldn’t be by himself and he would be forced to find something to keep him occupied until Ryland was let off of work.

This led the teen down to the public pool and he looked around at all the kids running and screaming as they splashed around in the pool. He pouted a bit more, peeling off his teeshirt and stuffed it into his bag before sitting down near the wall. There was nothing to do, but the pool was the only place he could think of going. With his butt planted on the cement, Levi sat there decked out in shorts and tried to find someone he might recognize. When his eyes fell onto Nolan, the eighteen year old felt his heart practically stop.

He swallowed a lump in his throat and admired the university student from afar. The blond boy was someone he hadn’t expected to see today, but it was a welcome surprise nonetheless. If anything perhaps he would have someone to hang out with after all. As he stood up, the teen made sure his backpack was in a safe place before quietly walking to the other side of the pool, quietly seating himself beside the submerged teen. “H-hey, Nolan..”

[nolan]

Nolan’s last few days had been jammed pack full of rehearsal’s and photo shoots. He didn’t know why, but his mother insisted on using him as her main subject, sometimes he didn’t mind but other times it could be quite a hassle to have to go around from place to place with your mother and be half-clad in clothes. He had even done some not so clothed photographs as well, but they had been done tastefully and as much as he could bitch and whine about doing it, he was glad to help his mother out. It also didn’t hurt to have the experience for any future plans that he may have had. Though it seemed like since the summer had started he had been running around the city with her like crazy and when he wasn’t he was doing rehearsals with his dance group and he just didn’t seem to have any down time lately and he could really use it. That was probably exactly why he had escaped here to the pol. Sure there were plenty of people here, but none that would make him pose, or remember an eight count. Here he could just relax and forget about the world.

The cool water felt nice against his tensed muscles and all he needed right now was a healthy distraction. What kind of distraction? Well, he could think of one that he wanted, but he wasn’t going to say it out loud. Biting down on his bottom lip, he glanced down at his chest and rand a hand over it, there was a leaf stuck to him, he hated having odd things touching him, it freaked him out just a little bit. Laughing at himself, he glanced up when he heard someone say his name. The water around him lapped and he opened his eyes to see the handsome boy next to him, Levi, hey there… He grinned widely. Well it looked like his prayers had been answered. Biting down on his bottom lip, he moved to sit up on the ledge and glanced at the younger boy. How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in a while… I… missed you. He smiled at the other boy and brushed a hand through his wet blonde hair. There was something about Levi Garner that always seemed to make Nolan’s heart beat wildly in his chest like a freight train. It was something that not many people could do to him, but here was something about this boy that seemed to work him in ways that no one else could.

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[LEVI JOSHUA GARNER]

The cool water lapped around the younger male’s legs causing him to relax just a little. It made him feel more comfortable and all he wanted to do was just to slip in and let the water lull him to sleep. Of course the only reason the young man was thinking about that was because he had forgotten to take his medication that morning. If Ryland had found out, he was sure that the younger teenager wouldn’t be happy with him. Oh well, it wasn’t as if he could just wander back to the house to take his pills. His young mind kept telling him that he didn’t need to swallow them down; the water was much more enticing to him. It wasn’t like the kid could just up and kill himself at the pool, but maybe if they thought it was an accident he would be able to get away with it.

Turning his head a little, Levi tried to focus on the smiling face in front of him but he found it ridiculously hard. Maybe coming to sit beside Nolan hadn’t been the smartest of ideas because now guilt starting to fill his mind. Nolan was here it wasn’t fair that the older boy had to see this but the water just looked comforting to him. “I’m doing okay... I guess.” he replied, half heartedly smiling for the college boy. The blond beauty made his insides turn over and made the young man feel something that he didn’t ever want to feel again. It pained his heart way too much and it forced the kid to look away.

“I’ve... missed you too. We haven’t really hung out, have we?” Looking down at his feet, he stirred his legs in the pool water below, watching it swirl around his light colored skin. Levi scratched the back of his head gently, glancing a wary eye over at Nolan before sliding into the water. “Hey Noly, wanna see how long I can hold my breath?” He hadn’t given Nolan a chance to answer before the young man slipped his pretty little head under the chlorinated water.

Sitting at the bottom of the pool, Levi looked around. His eyes burned a little from the chlorine, but it was a lot better than the pain he had gone through these past six months. Now that his oxygen supply was wearing thin he knew that all of it would be over soon. His body started to scream for air and he opened his mouth to take a breath only to take water into his lungs. It only survived as a reminder of what he was doing, black coming into the teen’s vision. If he was thinking straight, the boy would have realized how much trouble he was going to be in if he survived.

[nolan]

Nolan had always been a pretty happy child, he had gone through some rough patches in his life, but what do you expect from a kid that was abused in foster care and then adopted by lesbians? Life wasn’t easy for you that was for sure. Life could be hard, but Nolan always tried to keep a happy outlook on things. He had two great mothers that loved him unconditionally and he had incredible friends that helped him keep his head above water. He had wanted to slip in to bad things many, upon many times and with his personality it was easy for him to get sucked in – but they wouldn’t let him. They kept him away from things that would be harmful for him and Nolan wouldn’t deny the fact that he had thought about those bad things. He had thought about them a lot and he had pulled himself away from it, he didn’t want to be sucked in to that. He wanted to be able to keep his head above water, so to speak.

His blue eyes brightened up when he laid eyes on Levi though; there was something about the younger boy that seemed to make Nolan’s insides go all haywire. He had, had his share of girlfriends and boyfriends over the years, but there was just something different about Levi that made Nolan want to be around him more. They hadn’t hung out in awhile and Nolan was really glad to see him. The younger boy always brought a true smile to his face. Nolan watched Levi carefully, there was a protective instinct inside of him when it came to Levi and he wasn’t really sure how to explain it. Though he didn’t really worry about the reason, he just knew that he felt something for the other boy, so he wasn’t going to argue with himself over it. You guess? That doesn’t sound too convincing to me, Levi… Nolan chewed on his bottom lip, a little bit of worry swimming around in the pit of his stomach. He hoped everything was okay with Levi. The blonde boy tilted his head back slightly to look at Levi and couldn’t help but admire him as the smaller boy slid in to the water. Before he could open his mouth to answer him, Levi was under the water.

Watching for a moment, he started to count to himself, going along with Levi to see how long the boy could hold his breath. Licking his lips, he pressed them together and watched the boy carefully. His heart started to beat a little faster, as the seconds ticked by and he saw the small boy under the water. He didn’t think that Levi could hold his breath for that long; who could? It didn’t take another thought for Nolan to dive under the water and hook his arms under Levi’s and pull him up to the surface. Swimming to the side of the pool, he quickly pulled the other boy out, frantically patting his back and trying to get the other boy to breath. Levi… Levi… talk to me, honey…. C’mon… Nolan’s heart was beating a mile a minute now and he wasn’t sure what else to do. He laid Levi back and tilted his head back, clearing his airways before he started giving him mouth-to-mouth.

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[LEVI JOSHUA GARNER]

In all honesty, it hurt the small teenager just being this close to Nolan. Yes, he loved hanging out with the older boy, but when those feelings started to stir something else inside him it sent familiar pains stabbing into his heart. He was scared of feeling that way again and it almost pushed him to the edge. It probably didn’t help that he hadn’t taken his medication this morning. So the fact that he was trying to drown himself seemed like a rational idea for making all the pain go away. That was what brought him to this point, drowning himself in the public pool. The water was nasty and chlorinated, but that was okay... the taste wouldn’t last long.

He hadn’t even realized he was being pulled out of the pool. Blackness had taken over the teenager’s mind, leaving him practically brain dead as the blond had sprawled him out on the deck of the pool. Levi lay there, lungs filled with water and no trace of breath to be found. It must have been some cruel fate to have life forced back into his body. If the teen were awake, he would have been screaming for Nolan to stop and let him die. Then again, from what he knew of Nolan, there was no way he would ever let something like that happen to anyone, let alone the brunette.

Air was being forced into his lungs, pushing some of the water out and giving life to his organs. It wasn’t enough though, limbs flailed weakly as his body tried to cough up the water. He lay there struggling, what little bit of consciousness he had was just wanting to die even though the numbing pain that swept through his body was terrifying. Levi could only faintly see the figure above him, but it was enough... it meant someone was still there no matter what happened.

[nolan]

Nolan’s heart was ready to burst out of his chest. He didn’t know what to do other than to start mouth to mouth; he didn’t even call for help. He could barely even talk. Hell, he could barely even think straight. His mind was going crazy, wanting to get life back in to Levi’s fragile body. He looked so weak and lifeless and it scared the crap out of Nolan to see him like this. The younger boy meant a lot to the blonde, even if he didn’t know it and there was no way that he was going to let this happen. He was going to do his best to bring him back and there was nothing anyone could do to stop him. Not that they would, because he was doing his damnedest to save the boy’s life, but still.

He continued to give Levi mouth to mouth, pulling away for a moment to give him some compressions to the chest. After counting to himself, he pinched Levi’s nose and tilted his head back again before giving him more mouth to mouth, trying to get some life back in to the other boy. His mind was racing and he couldn’t let this happen. Nolan wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he just let Levi slip away like this, he couldn’t let him. Tears started to fall from his eyes as he continued with the CPR. It was something he hadn’t had to do in a very long time, but he was glad that he could at least remember how to do it when the time called for it.

Pulling back to do some more chest compressions, he could feel a slight change and he looked down at Levi, brushing his hair from his face, C’mon Levi… please… please don’t do this… come back… He begged softly, giving the compressions again and moving down to give him a few more breaths, hoping and praying that the life would just magically pop in to the younger boy. He wouldn’t be able to look at himself if anything were to happen to Levi. He just couldn’t. Please… Levi… He whispered softly and brought his mouth to the younger boys again.

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[LEVI JOSHUA GARNER]

It was selfish of him to want this pain to go away, but Levi couldn’t help it. At time it was almost unbearable having all that suppressive weight on him. Sometimes it felt like he was being literally crushed by his emotional problems and it was something he was trying to overcome. That’s where the medication came in. His pills had helped out the brunette, but as soon as he had gotten better Levi had thought it was okay to stop. Today was one of those days where he had ‘forgotten’ to take his anti-depressants, but look at where it had taken him.

It took just a bit longer before the eighteen year old was spitting up water. His body started screaming for oxygen, coughing up water into the mouth that was pressed over his. Levi was starting to feel sick, his oxygen deprived brain shoved weakly at the large figure over him. The first thing his mind started to think about was his desperation for air, thrashing about on the cement trying to escape the looming figure over top of him. Why was he so scared? His body was shaking and the teen didn’t have a single clue what was going on.

His eyes were hurting and the light burned his already dimming eyes. There was still darkness in the corner of his eyes as he finally got the strength to escape the large figure above him. Keeling over, the eighteen year old rolled onto his stomach, coughing more water from his lungs, gasping desperately for his precious air. Levi was holding himself up weakly, his body shaking and he had an uncontrollable fear racking through his body. That fear pushed Levi a little. He didn’t understand what was going on, having almost forgotten that he had tried to kill himself moments earlier. His body decided it wanted to take control and it only took a minute before the kid started puking his guts out.

[nolan]

The seconds that ticked by felt like hours and Nolan wasn’t exactly sure how much longer he was supposed to try this, but he was going to keep doing it until he pumped some sort of life back in to Levi. Or if someone decided to pull him off of the younger boy. Why had Levi done something like this? He wasn’t even really sure he comprehended, but he wasn’t going to judge, he wasn’t going to be mad if he could get the boy to open his eyes again. He’d be relieved. He’d be happy. Then he’d be scared and protective. He didn’t ever want to see Levi like this again. It hurt him to see the boy like this. It just wasn’t right.

Finally, a wave of relief washed over Nolan as Levi choked up some water. Sure, it was kind of gross that it was spit up back in to his mouth, but he didn’t even care. Not at all. Actually, he was just elated that there was life still left in that frail body. He pulled his hands away from Levi’s chest and peered down at him, concern etched all over his face still. He wasn’t going to leave him; he just wanted to give him some room to breathe. Though, every ounce of his being just wanted to wrap his arms around the smaller boy and hold him tightly, but he knew that he couldn’t. Not right now, he had to let Levi get a hold of himself and he didn’t want to crowd him, just make sure that he was okay.

Nolan sat back on his heels and his gaze followed Levi as the boy hunched over and started to cough up water and then before he knew it the other boy was throwing up violently. Slowly, the blonde moved over to the other boy, placing a hand on his back and beginning to rub it soothingly. It’s okay, Levi… get it all out… He stated softly, his voice trying to crack but Nolan wouldn’t let it. He wouldn’t lose control. The blonde had to keep it together for the other boy. He had to keep everything together so that he didn’t make the other boy feel any worse, or anything. He just had to be there for him and that was exactly what he planned on doing.

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[LEVI JOSHUA GARNER]

He couldn’t understand why he was feeling the way he was at the moment. Hunched over and puking all over the side of the pool wasn’t exactly how Levi wanted to spend his day, but for some reason he couldn’t stop himself. The teen was shaking uncontrollably, a dark blatant fear running through his veins. Levi knew how to swim, so why in the hell was he being saved from almost drowning? It didn’t take long for the puking to stop and as he sat up, things finally dawned on him. Now that he had calmed down, things started to fill his mind. He was being reminded of all the things that had happened and the teenager could only stare at the blond beside him.

Wide eyed and fearful, he took little comfort in the hand rubbing his back soothingly. “I... I did that?” He swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling his eyes well up as he stared at the beautiful blond beside him. The simple fact that he had done this had scared the eighteen year old into shock. If he had been thinking straight he wouldn’t have done something so stupid. Biting down on his lip, the shaken dancer threw himself onto Nolan, clinging to the older boy tightly.

“I-i’m sorry! I’m sorry. I won’t do it again... I’ll... I’ll take my meds everyday and... I promise I’ll be good!” He whimpered softly, burying his face against Nolan before he burst out into tears. Oh gosh, Levi was having a complete meltdown. If he ever looked back on his past, this is one day Levi would try and forget. “Please don’t leave me... I promise I’ll be good.”

[nolan]

Nolan knew that Levi had to take anti-depressants, and usually the boy took them without a fight. It didn’t dawn on him until this very moment to realize that he hadn’t taken them today, that’s what had sparked this. This is why Levi had tried to drown himself. It was all piecing itself together now in his head and it only made him worry more. Swallowing, his palms started to sweat a little bit as he tried his best to be comforting and supportive as Levi threw up all beside the pool. Nolan’s heart was pounding heavily and he had no idea what to do. What could he do really? Was there anything that he could possibly do to fix what had just happened? No, there really wasn’t. There wasn’t much anyone could do right now but sit back and wait for Levi to compose himself.

Nolan stayed quiet as Levi gained his composure and then stared up at him. The blonde shook his head a little bit, trying to sort everything out in his head. He couldn’t seem to fathom what all was going on, but he was sure Levi was just as confused. Chewing on his bottom lip, he was a little surprised when Levi threw himself in to his arms and clung to him. He didn’t mind, not in the slightest actually, he welcomed it. Holding Levi closely, he rubbed his arms and hoped that the boy would calm down. He didn’t want to see him all wigged out like this, it bothered him a lot.

Nolan held Levi and rubbed his arms soothingly, No, it’s okay Levi… just relax okay? Just relax… He rocked the boy in his lap, trying his best to keep him calm. His next words made Nolan wince a bit and he shook his head, I’m not going to leave you, Levi. I promise. I’ll be here as long as you need me. The blonde boy stated trying to calm the other boy down, though he was telling him the truth. Nolan cared about Levi a lot and he wasn’t going to leave him, not because of this. Just promise you’ll take your medicine. I hate seeing you like this. He licked his lips and pressed a kiss to the side of Levi’s head, holding the boy closer as he continued to rock him back and forth, almost like a baby.

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